Drowning On Dry Land

Flashback to the 80's

Back in my day? We called this Morrissey.   

Now:

Then:

I'm making no aspersions as to the books which I have not in fact read yet; it's just hilarious to me that all the tweener girls are gaga over this dude, who in fact presents himself as a rerun of Morrissey and every other Byronic heartthrob before and since.

Further proof that history repeats itself.

It's a Cruel, Cruel Summer

First, a programming note: I cannot come up with language strong enough to describe my hate of the new Rich Text editor for Typepad posts.  Aside from the formatting bugs, gone is the ability to simply paste in the code for Flickr pictures directly into your post, bypassing the posting software.  Hate is a strong word, but my dislike burns hotter than a thousand suns.

Summer is in full swing here on the homestead, replete with sunburns, cookouts and all your other assorted cliches.  So far we've been able to keep ourselves occupied with a variety of projects and activities, but the idea bucket is getting thin.  This coming week Hubs is in China on business, leaving me sequestered with the kid all by my lonesome.  Eeek.  Got a couple of playdates scheduled, and probably a beach trip thrown in that week somewhere, but holy hell is keeping this child entertained a full time job.  It's no wonder that my house is a hot mess, and my garage is impenetrable.  Thank god school starts next month - not early enough for me! 

As part of the effort to keep the whining 'come on mommy, play with me' to a minimum, I took the kidlet to her first theatrical movie this week, the sure Pixar bet Wall-E.  I've been a huge Pixar fan for years, and this one is another winner.  (I must admit I was worried after cars.)  The first half hour was oddly reminiscent of Mad Max meets Short Circuit, and I kept looking for Steve Guttenberg to make a cameo.  But the plot picks up, and I was totally enchanted as was the kidlet.  She definitely is my offspring, as already evidenced by her love of the flicks.

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Although that begs that other issue, the giant pull-up colored elephant in the corner....potty training.  So far so good, but I have to remind her all the time.  And no joy on #2, despite repeated readings of Everyone Poops.  Gotta love those wacky Japanese and their bathroom humor.  I also blame Dutch.  His take on the subject has spawned so many turd jokes that I was shocked to see my calendar reflect the year as 2008, and in fact NOT 1982, nor is this 2nd grade.

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I haven't given up finishing the recap of the Yucatan trip from oh, NEARLY FOUR WEEKS AGO, and should have that installment up this weekend.  A burgeoning career in travel writing is apparently not in the cards.

It Keeps You Runnin'

Bah.  A cup of coffee spilled on my Powerbook, and now I have a lovely stain at the bottom of my LCD display.  Anybody got a hot tip how to fix something like this?

Hubs and I hosted a baby shower for my sister in law over this past weekend.  It was a resounding success, despite the fact that all 50 plus guests were huddled up in my house because of the massive heat wave California experienced, and nobody enjoyed the tables outdoors.  Bah.

Jeffrey Osborne Father's Day concert was a huge hit with Hubs.  He managed to contain himself and kept himself from jumping onstage or crowd surfing or anything equally embarrassing, but just barely.  Overall the show was amazing, and the location was (for me) the best part - pastoral views of the summer sun setting through the vines on all of the hills surrounding us.  Definitely want to see another show out there.

Hubs and I watched Lions for Lambs last night.  Wow.  It's been a long time since a movie has affected me like this.  The only disappointment was the absolute lack of scenes with both Redford and Streep.  I was panting, waiting for some of that Out of Africa chemistry.  Alas, no dice...but still an EXCELLENT film.

Escaped for a late movie with my stand-in boyfriend for a viewing of The Incredible Hulk - new version with Edward Norton.  Very lackluster, although I refuse to believe the mediocrity has anything to do with my boy Eddie.  He's long been a favorite of mine, recently cementing his position in my TOP 5 with his amazing performance in Spike Lee's 25th Hour...but this flick may be one to leave off the resume.

Potty training my extraordinarily stubborn daughter continues to be an exercise in frustration.  Nominal progress has been had, but the bigger question remains: whose will is stronger?  The pool has 3 to 1 on her.

In the course of landscaping our back yard, we've taken out 9 trees. It pains me to contemplate the removal of yet another tree, especially one this pretty:

It was planted too close to a retaining wall, and despite the fact that the tree is winning the war it may still lose the war because the block wall is breaking.  

House of Cards

Egads, what a few weeks. That feels like a repetitive record, but there's truth to it. I heard once that you never feel caught up...and when you finally do, it's because you're dead. Sobering thought, but comforting.

 On a completely disconcerting note, I've had a huge run of traffic on this blog due to the story out of North Carolina of the little boy who drowned an hour after coming out of a pool. My heart aches for his parents, and I'm more than a little weirded out that so many google searches on that news story have lead readers here. I've been trying to decide for a week what, if anything to say about it. Again, I can only repeat my prayers for his family. 

In other news and channeling Chevy Chase, it would seem that our deck construction is finally at an end, HALLELUJAH AND PRAISE TO BABY JESUS. The deck's been useable for a couple of months now, but those pesky little line items on the punchlist take a while to work through. But for all the frustrations and aggravations, it's totally worth it in the end. 

 

Totally does not mean renovation projects do not continue to abound in our household. Currently mouldings are the plague of my existence, and that's all I have to say about that without invoking obscenities. 

Father's Day is coming up this weekend, and every year it feels like the ante goes up. As a matter of timing and coincidence, we happened to be in the Yucatan for Mother's Day this year, and despite the fact that I didn't get a SINGLE CARD (I'm looking at my mother and husband), I can't complain too much. But the need for reciprocation was clear and so I started drumming up ideas in the last month or so. Brunch, engraved cufflinks, blah blah...none of it really seemed right. So my decision, while not 'Father Knows Best' is still something I think he'll love: I'm taking him out to a nearby winery for dinner and Jeffrey Osborne in concert. See, Hubs fancies himself a lost Motown singer, despite the fact that he is a) NOT BLACK, and b) did I mention he's Asian, and therefore NOT BLACK? As long as he doesn't jump on stage a la American Idol style, I'll deal. (My fear is totally founded...he has a looong and embarrassing karaoke career that I would sell my soul to have on film....but alas the gods are not that mischiveous to give me such power). 

Next installment of Yucatan recap coming shortly. 

PS - In keeping with my unintentional theme of titling posts after movie and music, I must mention how enamored I am of the new Radiohead album, In Rainbows. The track in which I take my title today blows my tiny mind.

Baby you can drive my car *hint*

I've started writing up our trip last week to Mexico, and I hope it will be as interesting and exciting to you as it was to me. My fondest wish is that I'll be able to impart how truly magical that part of the world is, and make you want to go there as much as I loved being there.

But I'm taking an aside here to talk about how Hubs and I have spent the past week and all of yesterday stalking autotrader.com to replace his car. Talk about the last thing you want to be doing right after vacation.

The car shopping was prompted by an accident Hubs had on the freeway right before we left for our trip. It was evening rush hour, and thank god he was in the slow lane, stop n go traffic. So slow that nobody's air bags deployed. But for whatever reason he rear-ended a little Ford in front of him and crunched the front end of his car and the back end of the Ford. A monstrous traffic jam and a total loss report from the insurance later, and here we are.

Really sad too, because the little 328i he's been driving for many years was a terrific car, and I had hoped to get a few more years out of it. Having no car payments on two cars for several years with no huge maintenance costs will spoil the hell out of you. Regardless, it's abundantly clear we're going to need a second car, because sharing with him is a logistical nightmare not to mention marriage threateningly annoying.

So the research commences. And I've got to hand it to the boy here, he really got his act together. In the space of about a week, and just one day (yesterday) spent test driving, he made a decision, locked down the financing and got the whole issue resolved. *golf claps* On top of this monumental feat of decision making prowess (this is the same man who can't decide on whether to have the enchiladas or the chimichanga), he managed to drive it home last night, thus saving his poor wife the hardship of another week carpooling.

Now we've just got to come up with a name for the new baby. Any suggestions?

Note: Before I give him too much credit here, and we certainly can't have that, I should also point out that his accident which was ENTIRELY HIS FAULT has not stopped him from criticizing my driving at every turn, including the entire week in which (for some reason) I drove in Mexico, land of people who do not acknowledge the existence of lanes. He's lucky he's alive.

Hot for Teacher

Forgotten in the Drafts folder....

Sweet Jesus Gay, it's been a rowdy week. I ranted via Twitter about standing in line for TEN FREAKIN' HOURS on Tuesday night/Wed morning to enroll my kid at the preschool d'jour. I got there to set up camp at 11, very smugly I might add, thinking that I would FOR SURE be first in line, no problems. Umm, negative Starbuck - you would be number 9 or 10, difficult to count in the dark that far. But I did keep a close eye on who was coming in and out (some of these diehards had actual shift changes in line standing) lest some fool try to cut in. I was totally ready to cut somebody if they tried.

We'll find out in a couple of weeks if we get a spot. But alas, I have a Plan A....and B, and possibly C. Come hell or high water, this kid IS GOING TO SCHOOL THIS FALL.

In other news, Hubs and I's trip to the Yucatan is now two weeks and counting. And I mean, LITERALLY COUNTING. More on that as plans start coming together.

In actuality we should hear this week whether Primo First Choice Preschool is a go or not. Right before we leave for Puerto Morelos on Sunday, YAAAAYYY.

Edited to add: we got in! Hallelujah!

Alas, all the world's a stage...or maybe a deck.

Why, hello my friends. Yes, yes I'm still alive and well. In a matter of speaking.

Since we've been home from vacay, my time and attention has been commandeered by, wait for it - the house. I can't even remember what the hell project I wrote about last, but now the project whittling away my time is an impending second story deck. Many hours have been devoted to online research of decking materials, checking references of contractors and bidding out the materials. Fun times to be had all around. But if all goes as well as planned (I hear the echoing chortle, Internet...and I share your amusement.), we'll have a deck by Thanksgiving. Just in time for the haze to clear out, and the million dollar views of the mountains to appear from the mist.

And then the stars at night.

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Apart from that, this is the annual season where I pine for Tivo. All the of the new series premiered this week (along with my beloved House - Oh, Hugh I do so miss you when you're gone...sob) and I can't possibly keep up with them all. Recappers cover all of that territory far better than I do, but I have to squeal about the one standout amongst them all: Life. Holy shit, I don't think I've seen something premiere this strongly since West Wing. Well performed, good DP, fantastic writing and easily one of the more original series I've seen. I can only pray it doesn't go the way of last year's favorite son, Kidnapped. Considering how low profile the press junket has been, I am tentatively getting attached to this one. Oh, and Reka: your boy Adam Arkin has a cameo role in it, squee!

Also one the horizon and eagerly anticipated: New Amsterdam.

Also looks like a phenomenal film season coming this fall. Based on early reviews and trailers, those definitely rating full price admission are: Lust and Caution, the new Ang Lee; Lions for Lambs, Redford's new opus and reunion with Meryl (I had to cross my legs upon hearing this news); The Brave one with Jodie Foster and the delectable Naveen Andrews (if only for a moment); Darjeeling Limited, Wes Anderson's new one; Elizabeth The Golden Age with the incomparable Cate Blanchett and (oh happy day) Clive Owen; Michael Clayton, George Clooney and Tilda Swinton....gah, I can go on and on. Very much looking forward to Oscar season.

Hmmm...not a lot to add here and now. Except, iMDB has revealed that Damian Lewis is actually English! I sense another player on the stage of my affections. But don't despair, dear Hugh....for now (at least) you're first.

photo courtesy iMDB/WireImage

Unfabulous Foursome of Friviolity

Not a whole lot happening these days on the plantation...the holiday came and went with little to no fanfare - in fact, I ended up working that day, and had the in-laws over for dinner and watching of the local university's fireworks from the deck. One of the nicer things about living on a hill.

Other than that..

I had a laser treatment done on my face to remove freckles and sun damage. I'd been thinking about this for a while; looking at pictures of myself from just 5 years ago it was shocking how much darker my face looked (read: dirty). Thanks to my anal cleansing/moisturizing routine, my skin was in really good shape but clearly the Cetaphil 15 sunblock I normally use wasn't cutting it. To all my friends and readers, learn from my mistake and get thee a 50+ sunblock for the face. I'm working up the courage to post before and after pics...we'll see.

Over the past weekend Hubs and I met with a couple of his golfing buddies and finally went to see Silver Surfer. Oh my god, I doubt I've seen a bigger piece of shit in the last 10 years. There were so many cringe-worthy moments I couldn't keep up counting them all. The only, I repeat ONLY redeeming quality and somewhat of a nice surprise was Laurence Fishburn's voice as the Surfer - AWESOMENESS. Still, over all...there's two hours of my life that I'll regret on my deathbed.

A bird has nested in one of my hanging plants on my front porch. I've noticed her spooking out of the planter at night when I go out the front door, and finally shimmied up there to have a look:

On a sad note, it looks like one of my favorite websites, Allofmp3.com has finally surrended to the WTO and US pressure and closed down their site. This site was the only reason I was relatively up on the current music scene, what with their FABULOUS .03/MB download rate. I've heard that they have a sister site up now with a different distribution agreement and a slightly higher rate so I'll have to check that out...anything is better than iTunes and their racket.

Time Out of Mind

Holy Christ on a cracker. I haven't written anything on this blog in nearly two months. Either my life is really that boring, or my writing muse has given up the ghost and moved on to greener pastures....I certainly would.

In grand telescopic style, not a whole lot to report in April or May. Zoe's friends birthdays, Mother's Day (Hubs took me to see Harry Connick in LA, and with irony thick in the air I fantasized about running away to lead a Southern piano player's mistress' life), a week spent in Kentucky with my mom, etc. My kid came back to California having acquired a Southern accent in record time. We de-planed and walked down the terminal to the baggage claim; when she saw her father she shouted "HAYELP, Daddy, HAYELP". She apparently thought the bags were going to be too much for us to handle. A hillbilly in 7 days: apparently, I am THAT GOOD.

In other happenings, Hubs and I met up with his cousin and his wife in LA a couple of weeks ago to take our girls to see Sesame Street Live: Elmo Makes Music at the Kodak in LA. Sweet Jesus Gay, what a scene. It was akin to the Beatles landing in America, or possibly even Frank and Dean at the Sands. You have never seen such a broiling pit of small hysterical children. There was tearing of hair and rending of garments; I full expected to see Underoos being flung on stage during Bert's disco tango at some point. We managed to avoid the pit for the most part, and the girls giggled for the rest of the afternoon whispering names of their favorite characters to each other. Clearly money well spent.

Memorial Day weekend was pretty tame as well; there was a nice afternoon spent at the LA Arboretum and the following day at the beach. The water was freezing, but I could not pry my kid out of her trench in the sand at the waterline. She may be part crustacean. Being the transparent jellyfish I am, I came out of it with a vicious sunburn. Thanks a lot, deadbeat gene pool. Assholes, the lot of you chromosomes.

On the horizon? Police show next week...Zoe's 2nd birthday coming up, gotta start thinking about what sort of debacle I can concoct. Also, a 5th anniversary trip to Mexico is firming up nicely. My mom is coming out for the kid's birthday, and I'm going to milk her for housesitting/babysitting time. She knows of the plan, and has graciously agreed. She also does not take me seriously when I've told her that her precious granddaughter has disintegrated into a whiney hot mess. She may seriously regret agreeing to this; I only hope that I have zero signal below the border, and will be entirely unreachable.

This enormous gap in posting has me thinking that I just don't have it in me to write on a regular basis, and maybe I should give up the ghost as well. I feel like I always have funny or insightful things to write about, but the physical act of getting into an entry sort of escapes me...like the plans to get in a workout every day, and eat leafy green vegetables at least two meals a day. I thought by now I would've found my voice as a writer, and it is somewhat disturbing to read some of these past entries and see how wildly my tone vacillates. I come off sounding somewhat unhinged, and possibly in need of medication. And on a pathetic note, it's sort of sad that I've been blogging for a year this week, and only have a handful of posts and even less commenters (yes, I'm looking at you J)...something to consider.

What only sounds like date night.

Beer and Booty. Sounds like a hot night, eh? Except, NOT.

I am Florence freakin' Nightingale over here, with the exploding sinus cavities and the coughing and....the inevitable mucus. Save me. Or take my toddler with you.

That sounds heartless, doesn't it? I certainly don't mean it that way, but come bedtime and the reprieve arrives, there's nothing better than beer and Booty. And blessed, blessed solitude.